Alcohol kills slowly. That’s true, but who’s in a hurry?

If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your
sleep.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and
the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the
third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night listening to and thinking about things
you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

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