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Snoring and the Marriage Bed

Thu, Jul 20, 2017

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BY J E SOLOMON
“Sleep is fundamental for your health and wellbeing, and if you’re not getting enough, your relationship may suffer …. Many people actually sleep apart — the Queen and Prince Philip among them — and find their marriage much happier for it,” said Dr. GABRIELLE MORRISSEY, a relationship expert.

Many studies have shown that adequate sleep is very crucial for our health. There’s no reason to treat the lack of adequate sleep lightly. In fact, continued sleep deprivation could lead to serious health problems that may affect one’s mind and body. Therefore, any situation that prevents a person from getting adequate sleep should not be entertained.

There’re many situations that can give rise to inadequate sleep. For instance, residing in a place that’s usually very noisy even at night. A spouse could be prone to frequent tossing and turning during sleep and this may affect the partner’s sleep quality. Also, different work schedules (day time versus night time) for couples can affect the sleep quality of one or both spouses. This articles touches specifically on married couples not getting adequate sleep because of snoring by one or both partners.

Snoring is a major cause of nightly disturbance in many relationships. Unfortunately, sleep masks and other devices designed to curb snoring have been found to be very uncomfortable for users. Thus, the best solution to the problem is for affected couples to sleep separately. Asking the snorer to quit the marriage bed may sound like an imposition of a punishment for what’s obviously unintentional. And the choice of who should quit the comfort of the marriage bed can present a conflict, where neither of the couple is willing to do that.

While separate beds are crucial in fixing the issue of nightly disturbances from a snoring partner, surprisingly some people are opposed to the idea on purely religious grounds. They use scripture as a pointer to why couples must always sleep together in the same bed. For instance, Hebrew 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Supporters of no-separate-bed for couples have frequently used the verse to buttress their stand, contending that sleeping apart amounts to a dishonoring of the marriage bed. They also refer to the marriage vows, which bind couples “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

Those in favor of separate beds argue that there’s nothing dishonorable to a marriage when couples sleep separately, and consider it irrational for anyone to suggest that Hebrew 13:4 has any relevance to the idea of separate beds for couples. They question how an act of dishonor or defilement could be established when couples sleep separately for good reasons, especially one that ensures they stay healthy.

A reverend minister siding with the idea of separate beds advised couples to consider the overall health benefits of adequate sleep in comparison with the risk factors associated with continued sleep deprivation, namely heart disease, heart attack, stroke, forgetfulness, and even low sex drive, among others.

He suggested that those who are against separate beds should turn to Philippians 4:8 from where they could find the motivation to free themselves of any doubts and fears of doing something presumed to be detestable in the eyes of God.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

Many research studies have confirmed that the quality of sleep tend to be better when one has the bed all to themselves. As such, refusing to accept what is proven to be true about inadequate sleep is definitely a display of bigotry. The deeper meanings of Scriptural verses are supposed to guide our journey through life and lead us towards liberation, not into bondage.

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UNDER HIS WATCH I WALK

Wed, Jun 28, 2017

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BY J E SOLOMON
Under His watch I walk
Each and every step
No matter the terrain I’m safe
Rain and storm notwithstanding
I’m always guided and protected
Angels with radar afar watching
By day under the Sun
By night while I sleep
This, my adversaries know
And dare not come nearer
Lest an aura of vibration
Hovering like a storm
As of a hurricane
They’ll have to encounter
And be torn asunder
Or be crushed to death
This, my adversaries know
Wherever I may go
And so, to this day
As has been from childhood
Fear and me, always apart
Farther than the skies above
Making me dauntless
As the Divine Spirit itself
For that which is within
Is greater than that without
For thus says the Father-Mother, God
And this, my adversaries must know.

June 2017: All rights reserved

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J A Kufour, Not This Time, Please

Sat, Jun 24, 2017

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BY J E SOLOMON
To openly attack people I hold in high esteem is not something I normally would do. However, when facts are twisted intentionally not only to misinform but to destroy a person’s well-deserved achievements, then I refuse to be gagged.

Former President John Agyekum Kufuor of Ghana is reported to have told leaders of the International Democratic Union (IDU) that Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana’s first president, “destabilized the peace of the country and also plunged the country into chaos” and also led the country into “poverty it had never known before.”

He’s also alleged to have stated that “the country tasted true democracy only after 1992 when we were ushered into the 4th Republic.” Is Mr. Kufuor telling us that in the 2nd Republic under the rule of Dr. K A Busia, a government in which he was the deputy Foreign Minister, Ghana didn’t have a true democracy? The then Progress Party government was a direct off-shoot of the erstwhile United Party, the opposition group that forced Kwame Nkrumah to become the dictator he was.

Nkrumah had his faults. He grew intolerant of opposing ideologies. That’s very true. He was, unquestionably a smart dictator, a visionary incomparable to any of his peers and the most brilliant mind ever to emerge on the African political scene. His capacity to see through insidious manipulations by neo-colonialist powers was unmatched.

His successes became increasingly uncomfortable for his adversaries, who obviously had no answers to his meteoric rise and growing popularity at home and internationally. Factors that raised the image of the African in the eyes of the world, especially with regard to Ghanaians abroad.

In desperation, the opposition chose the path of violence and unconventional tactics to bring him down. Lies, vicious lies packaged through propaganda and fear mongering among the populace, became the modus operandi of the opposition. They were determined to cause his disaffection by any means fair or foul. Regardless of the consequences.

To accuse Nkrumah of “plunging the country into chaos” and leading the country into “poverty it had never known before” is unacceptable. These statements attributed to Mr. Kufuor have touched on an emotional button within me that cannot be reset or silenced. And so I venture to defend the man reckoned to be Africa’s greatest statesman.

Why would I even elect to defend Nkrumah? This was the leader under whom my own maternal uncle was put into jail. H H Cofie Crabbe was jailed along with Tawiah Adamafio and Ako Adjei for their alleged roles in plots to overthrow the government. The three, members of Nkrumah’s government, somehow, were implicated in the 1962 Kulungugu bomb attempt on Nkrumah’s life. There were reported bomb explosions at CPP rallies in Accra that maimed innocent citizens. And those were the works of opposition members, some of whom colluded with dissidents from outside to procure the grenades used in the bomb throwing.

In the midst of such violent attacks, did the opposition expect Nkrumah to be politically soft?
Any leader in his shoes would have taken the same steps he took, like the Preventive Detention Act enacted in 1964, to ensure a smooth running of governance.

If ever there was chaos in the country, it surely started with the desperate and lawless actions of the opposition as mentioned earlier. The military coup of February 1966 came to add to the chaos. The emergence of the military on the political scene elevated military personnel participation in areas where previously the police were solely in charge. Military-cum-police mounted road blocks soon became noticeable. There were public beatings of civilians accused of breaking the law.

Ultimately, it was the Progress Party that benefited from the 1966 coup and Mr. Kufuor became a deputy Foreign Minister under Victor Owusu. The then National Liberation Council banned all members and party functionaries of the Nkrumah regime, making them ineligible to form political parties or hold public office. The move presented the Progress Party with a neatly paved road to political incumbency. Mr. Kufuor and his government didn’t see the banning of CPP members from politics as “undemocratic.”

With political power virtually handed over to them on a silver platter, the Busia administration callously deported nationals of other West African countries, mainly Nigerians, some of whom had been born and bred in Ghana, married in Ghana and also raised children in Ghana. Children who, like their parents, knew nothing about Nigeria to call it their home. Yet they were forced to leave. Some of those Nigerians who owned stores and had properties were forced to under-sell or abandon their lifetime possessions amid looting by some heartless Ghanaians.

Hither to, Nkrumah had tried to open up the country’s borders with her neighbors. A move in direct consonance with his United Africa dream. And so it wasn’t a surprise that other West African nationals found Ghana a place to reside in.

The misguided deportation order sowed the seeds for future economic chaos and poverty in Ghana. In 1983, Ghanaians who had escaped economic hardship and migrated to Nigeria were similarly deported back home. This was a time of severe drought, scarcity of food as well as goods. Interestingly, Mr. Kufuor didn’t seem to remember the harsh economic realities of that time, one that aptly fits the description, “poverty like never known before.”

Ghana, our dear country, has been wounded several times in the past. It had bled, and still bleeds from the wounds inflicted by self-seekers and political adventurers who believe more in personal wealth acquisition than the collective wealth acquisition of the whole nation. What we need at this crucial moment are words that unite us, not words that ignite emotions and excite resentment. Mr. Kufour, if you’re bereft of words that inspire and unite, please keep quiet. Ka w’anu tum.

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Ty Stephens & The Soul Jazz Rock Trumpets Jazz Club

Thu, Apr 27, 2017

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By J E Solomon
Last Saturday, April 22, 2017, I returned home from enjoying a night at the Trumpets Jazz Club & Restaurant in Montclair, NJ, where Ty Stephens & The Soul Jazz thrilled the audience. It was whaao!

During a short break, Ty walked up to greet the audience. He spotted me behind one of the tables and walked up to give me a hug. As we were talking, a lady sitting nearby confessed to Ty, saying, “You made me shed tears while u sang the last relationship song.” Ty himself acknowledged that he saw two ladies in the front row wiping tears off their cheeks.

It was a night to remember. My very first time at this club and I’m gonna go there again when the Soul Jazz makes another appearance. Sometimes it’s appropriate to follow one’s mind. My inner voice had literally been “disturbing” me with reminders to attend this particular event. I’m too glad I did. The music, the entire performance, and the coolness of the place made it all very pleasing.

Music, soulful music, sometimes can raise one’s spirits moon high. Such was my experience.

This is what I’ve come to realize. People who have more compassion in their hearts for humanity than the love for money and material wealth, do have the power to change the world. The power of selfless love, Divine love, transcends everything — race, ethnicity, creed, color, politics, religion, etc etc.

The world needs your love. Be a champion for peace and love for the sake of all humanity. Develop an open heart, open mind and open arms, and you’ll experience the extraordinary joy and beauty of love without boundaries.

The other members of the Soul Jazz band are: RICHARD CUMMINGS, Jr (piano/music direction)
RON “Rondew” MONROE (bass) ROBERT (RT) TAYLOR (guitar) SIPHO KUNENE (drums)

— Saturday, April 22, 2017

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ON GHANA, I REFUSE TO BE GAGGED

Thu, Jun 16, 2016

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BY J E SOLOMON

IT always seems to me like a dream to imagine that Ghana my motherland, the country that once was the beacon of hope for Africa’s emancipation from foreign economic domination has today been plunged deeply into the inescapable claws of the very economic powers it was breaking away from after independence.

The country has had to repeatedly go to the World Bank and donor nations for help in the hope of extricating (more…)

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HATRED AND EVIL

Tue, May 3, 2016

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BY J E SOLOMON

Hatred can never be

A fruit of the Spirit

Though from within

It cometh forth

 

 
Hatred comes not

With intentions pure

But motives destructive

Desiring one thing

To stop the way of

Peace and progress

A hater’s motive is

One of active ill-will

Full of treachery

A manifestation of

All that’s evil inspired

 

 
Surrender not to hatred

Attack hate if you will

Not with hate but with love

And be careful not to

Return any evil with evil

For the love of evil

Is the driving force

That inspires jealousy

Underestimate not a hater

 

 
Boldly walk away

From hatred and a hater

And may you not be deceived

By a hater’s professed

Change of heart; never!

It’s like the chameleon

Never to be taken as is

Evil is forever evil

Remember this one truth

“Evil does not die, it waits to be reborn.”

 
JOHN E SOLOMON© (2010)

 

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