Posted by By J E Solomon
The suggestion by Sex Therapist, Dr. Laura Berman that parents should consider providing
clitorial vibrators for their teenage daughters in an effort to ensure their sexual empowerment
did not sound realistic to some of us.
Dr. Berman, who was on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, must have stirred some eerie feelings
among an unwilling majority of parents. According to Dr. Berman, this is just a way to normalize
vibrators and normalize sexual exploration.
For eight months, Jordan, a 10-year-old girl, had been pressuring her mother to explain what
sex is. The mother, Amy from Tennessee, had been nervous about such a discussion with her
daughter until Dr. Berman was brought in to talk about the subject, apparently to use the right
words the mother would not have used.
Dr. Berman explained that teaching our daughters “to take control of their own pleasure can
help them avoid unhealthy sexual experiences”. I agree with her on that, and also support her
view that it is important for parents to have a big talk about masturbation and orgasm with
their teenagers.
She also argued that “kids today know a lot more about sex than we think they do,” which might
be true, but to intimate that a mother should be ready to hold her daughter’s hand and help her
self-stimulate with a vibrator, is as outrageous as it is unacceptable.
The fact that teenagers are already experimenting with some forms of sexual acts is not a
justification for a sex therapist to openly recommend that parents provide them with clitorial
vibrators. Although the clitoris is generally acknowledged to be the most sensitive erogenous
zone of the female sex organ, total sexual satisfaction ultimately involves more than just
clitorial stimulation.
After a parent has provided a daughter with clitorial vibrator, Dr Berman wants to tell the
world that such a vibrator will be satisfying enough for the curious teenage girl till she reaches
womanhood and is ready for marriage. She doesn’t think the girl would be more excited about
wanting to explore further into other erogenous zones, perhaps the G-spot, asking the parent for
multiple vibrators.
The hunger for sex, a basic human characteristic, is the driving force behind the need for
copulation and, of course, self-stimulation. If teenage girls are provided with the tools with
which they could freely self-stimulate, masturbate, for that matter, they are more likely to
develop an irresistible habit for it and there will be little or no inclination for them to want
to practice self-control which is essential to female sexual empowerment.
Dr. Berman’s attempt to promote vibrators in teen sex education might seem to some people as
revolutionary, but to others her unusual enthusiasm about the product smacks of an ulterior
motive to boost the sex toy industry. Her suggestion is, to say the least, unacceptable.
Wow! I don’t know about providing vibrators to teenagers. I think that’s just too extreme. I do agree that “kids today know a lot more about sex than we think they do,” but I don’t think vibrators is the answer. Parents should talk to their children about sex at an early age, preferably during the preteen years. They should let their children know that sex is natural, but there are consequences to having sex. If a parent tells a kid to abstain from sex, without explaining why, the kid might want to experiment to find out why he or she was told to abstain. I know the sex talk can be unconfortable, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m sure there are differnet techniques out there to help parents with the sex talk. If parents are relax and not uptight during the conversation, the kids will also be at ease.