BY J E SOLOMON
“Sleep is fundamental for your health and wellbeing, and if you’re not getting enough, your relationship may suffer …. Many people actually sleep apart — the Queen and Prince Philip among them — and find their marriage much happier for it,” said Dr. GABRIELLE MORRISSEY, a relationship expert.
Many studies have shown that adequate sleep is very crucial for our health. There’s no reason to treat the lack of adequate sleep lightly. In fact, continued sleep deprivation could lead to serious health problems that may affect one’s mind and body. Therefore, any situation that prevents a person from getting adequate sleep should not be entertained.
There’re many situations that can give rise to inadequate sleep. For instance, residing in a place that’s usually very noisy even at night. A spouse could be prone to frequent tossing and turning during sleep and this may affect the partner’s sleep quality. Also, different work schedules (day time versus night time) for couples can affect the sleep quality of one or both spouses. This articles touches specifically on married couples not getting adequate sleep because of snoring by one or both partners.
Snoring is a major cause of nightly disturbance in many relationships. Unfortunately, sleep masks and other devices designed to curb snoring have been found to be very uncomfortable for users. Thus, the best solution to the problem is for affected couples to sleep separately. Asking the snorer to quit the marriage bed may sound like an imposition of a punishment for what’s obviously unintentional. And the choice of who should quit the comfort of the marriage bed can present a conflict, where neither of the couple is willing to do that.
While separate beds are crucial in fixing the issue of nightly disturbances from a snoring partner, surprisingly some people are opposed to the idea on purely religious grounds. They use scripture as a pointer to why couples must always sleep together in the same bed. For instance, Hebrew 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Supporters of no-separate-bed for couples have frequently used the verse to buttress their stand, contending that sleeping apart amounts to a dishonoring of the marriage bed. They also refer to the marriage vows, which bind couples “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
Those in favor of separate beds argue that there’s nothing dishonorable to a marriage when couples sleep separately, and consider it irrational for anyone to suggest that Hebrew 13:4 has any relevance to the idea of separate beds for couples. They question how an act of dishonor or defilement could be established when couples sleep separately for good reasons, especially one that ensures they stay healthy.
A reverend minister siding with the idea of separate beds advised couples to consider the overall health benefits of adequate sleep in comparison with the risk factors associated with continued sleep deprivation, namely heart disease, heart attack, stroke, forgetfulness, and even low sex drive, among others.
He suggested that those who are against separate beds should turn to Philippians 4:8 from where they could find the motivation to free themselves of any doubts and fears of doing something presumed to be detestable in the eyes of God.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8.
Many research studies have confirmed that the quality of sleep tend to be better when one has the bed all to themselves. As such, refusing to accept what is proven to be true about inadequate sleep is definitely a display of bigotry. The deeper meanings of Scriptural verses are supposed to guide our journey through life and lead us towards liberation, not into bondage.