Life always presents us with opportunities for growth, sometimes with lessons that can be very painful. I had a maternal cousin I loved dearly. We were born just a day apart but didn’t grow up in the same place. As grown-ups, we only met at funerals, weddings, etc. Both of our mothers were much closer to each other compared with our other aunties.

I got my cousin’s home phone number before I left Ghana. In my early period in the US, I often had very strong feelings of wanting to call her just to say hi but, somehow, I refrained from calling. I had learnt from the vineyard, that her husband was domineering and temperamental and my reasoning mind warned me not to call my cousin. Obviously it was the kind of fear that only existed in the mind.

I received a call one morning only to be told that she had died. She reportedly passed out while at church and died before reaching the hospital. The pain from that experience was searing. It came with shock and guilt that lived with me for years. The thought of it sometimes brings back the pain. It’s so true, that the mere recollection of pain triggers pain.

A friend told me a story about a Ghanaian in the UK. His uncle had called him from Ghana and wanted to discuss something important with him. He allegedly told the uncle he didn’t have time.  It wasn’t about time.  He confessed to my friend thus, “I was thinking he would talk about problems and money.”  The next time a call came from home, it was to announce the uncle’s death. According to my friend, for several months, the guy couldn’t bring himself up to cope with the situation.  He believed strongly the uncle’s alleged important issues might be about important documents in his possession and matters relating to some family properties.

Back home in Ghana, a sectional head of a state corporation once wrote a query in readiness for a habitual Monday late-comer. On that particular Monday, the guy didn’t show up even as lunch time approached. The supervisor allegedly grew angry and openly voiced out his intentions for the late-comer. “I’ll send him home, if he comes. He’s going to be suspended this time,” he repeatedly told the staff.

Guess what followed later; tragedy. The guy had died in a fatal accident on his way back to Accra. The insults and insinuations that were spewed out at the supervisor didn’t end that day.  And despite management’s appeal for end to the insults and teasing, it didn’t stop. Even at the funeral ceremony, some employees defiantly teased their boss and told him to go and put the query and suspension letter in the coffin. Can you imagine what might have gone through his mind in the aftermath of the shocking news about the late-comer’s death?  It surely must have been a painful lesson he would never forget.

Our thoughts have the power to suggest all kinds of things to us. Suspicion and fear are very dominant.  Fear is faith in reverse. Don’t let your reasoning mind push your faith in reverse. The decisions you make with your faith in reverse may be irreversible and the regrets may live with you and hunt you forever.




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